It has been months since my last blog post. Perhaps you know how life gets in the way, right! Well anyway, while I was walking with not too much enthusiasm this morning, I was thinking about the reasons why I haven't written, when the title, of this post came to mind.
Yeah, yeah, I can hear you now, "Oh please, she's about to make up some really lame reason. Does she think we were born yesterday? There will be no letting her off the hook."
Okay I get it. I promise that I'm not looking for anything other than my own attempt to settle things in my own mind.
Well, here goes; I bought a bike last September so I could get more exercise, but after several months I developed a ganglion cyst at the base of my thumb. It continued to grow, causing me a lot of pain. The cyst got so bad that I could not even lift the gallon of milk out of the refrigerator with my left hand. Due to undisclosed reasons, I wasn't sure if I would have medical insurance for the first two months in the new year, so opted to have the cyst taken care of before 2013 ended, leaving me with a painful stitched and bandaged hand. I had to limit the use of my hand and keep it up along with icing it every 4 hours. What did I get myself into? There were moments when I questioned whether I had made the right decision.
The initial recovery took slightly over a month. Just as my hand was beginning to feel normal again, I came down with the flu. It wasn't the bad kind so I thought I'd be okay within a couple of days, Come to find out the flu was the least of my worries. Day two had barely arrived. It was still dark when I woke up feeling sick to my stomach. I got up with intentions of heading to the bathroom, but I never made it. It's true about seeing stars, because s soon as I stood up, the stars appeared, darkness washed over me, and down I went.
The sense of searing pain is what woke me up. I didn't know what was causing the pain, but something was pressing against my chest. It turned out that I fell onto the corner of my nightstand. I was disoriented with a cold sweat. Somehow, I was able to get back in bed where I would hopefully be safe and wait for the pain to subside.
On a scale of one to ten with ten being the worst, my pain had to be an eight. The bruising appeared within hours. While the bruising continued to spread over the next ten days, the pain continued far longer with a gradual decrease in the pain level. At the walk-in clinic, the Doctor diagnosed my condition as a bruised sternum and bruised ribs. It has now been six weeks and I still have some pain, but at least it is manageable and I can finally were my undergarment without too much discomfort.
So the question I have asked myself through out these two events is this; 'Why me? Why was I dealt the bad cards?"
This is 'myself' talking to 'me.' "Whoa, Missy! Who put you on a pedestal with the notion that life is perfect and nothing bad ever happens. It's not like that. Life is filled with good and bad just like a box of chocolates, so count your blessings!"
'Me' responded. "Oh my, after looking at the pro's and cons 'me' agrees with 'myself'."
Then 'I' put in her two cents worth. "After listening to both of you 'I' agree with 'myself.' When I add up the good and bad, the bad far out-weighs the good. Aha, I think I've got it!"
Me, myself, and I have spoken.
Life is like a game of cards. We cannot change the cards so we must play the hand we've been dealt and decide how we respond to whatever setback comes our way. By letting go of the "Why me" attitude, I am able to finally see that I'm proud on how I've dealt with all of my past setbacks, so this setback will pass, as well. I know my inner-self is gaining wisdom.
In 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 we are told to, “Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”
The Lord tells us that we are to have an attitude of joy, thanksgiving and prayer at all times, no matter the conditions or the circumstances that surround us.
I am ever so grateful to my Lord for His grace and for surrounding me with His favor. My setbacks are nothing compared to not being in His grace.
Kathy Goodhew, author
I sense a need for something greater than self. So, I am led by Christ's love to be an encourager as I share about His faithfulness and grace.