Have you ever been afraid to go home to the one you love? Ask any abuse victim this question and pay close attention. You may see a hint of fear in their eyes as they claim that nothing is wrong and then quickly changing the subject. I know this because I have been there. I too, was a victim of spousal abuse.
Many victims and survivors carry around long-term, hidden scars and yet, they have an inner strength and resilience waiting to emerge as they protect their children and themselves. Because of the emotional scars, most abuse survivors will conceal their feelings of heartbreak, loneliness, or despair in order to survive their own personal battlefield.
If a survivor were to able to share their story it would be heart wrenching. and because they were courageous enough to break their silence, they would be brave warriors. However, there are some who cannot speak out, because they are no longer with us. The abuse I speak of is the use of verbal, physical, emotional and even sexual control or oppression with the intent of crushing the spirit of another human being.
Abuse, in all its forms, touches people of every culture, race, occupation, and age. Each year, millions of women, men, and children suffer from emotional or physical violence and many abuse victims have been led to believe that they deserve the abusive treatment. Domestic abuse will continue until our generation recognizes the destructive nature of domestic abuse.
Many victims are women and they may be afraid to talk openly out of fear of their abuser. Meanwhile, bystanders and the general public treat domestic abuse as something that is invisible. Because of this, the statistics are on the rise and we continue to disregard the long-term effect of domestic abuse.
Some might ask, “Why don’t they leave?” or “Do they enjoy being abused?” or "I wouldn't ever put myself in that situation to begin with." The better question might be, “Why do abusers terrorize and crush the one they profess to love?” Many victims do leave, but the real reasons for staying are more than any one statement can adequately explain. And yet, there is a possible reason that many people have not considered. It is the thing that brings paralyzing fear into a victims eyes. Many abuse victims don’t leave an abusive relationship because of ‘separation violence’. They fear that the risk of more severe violence could escalate sharply as the batterer realizes that he may lose control. Nearly three-fourths of domestic assaults were inflicted after the separation. Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury or death to abuse victims in the United States.
It is likely that most of us know someone who has been physically abused. This makes us slightly more attuned to the destructive nature of domestic abuse. We have a choice. We can continue to be silent or we can break our silence and speak up. Sadly, abuse will stay unless we decide that we’ve had enough. It’s up to each of us. Silence will only create more violence! It’s time to make a choice and take a stand. If you see an injustice, I hope you will join me when I say, “This is just plain wrong!”
If anyone feels broken inside, please know it should not define who you are or who you can become! Consider the lowly caterpillar that is transformed into a beautiful butterfly! Consider a baby in the safety of his or her mother’s womb, hesitant to leave only because he or she is unable to see the extraordinary world just ahead.
Please reflect on this;
No one should feel alone, thinking that there is nowhere to turn. It is simply not so, for God is beside you every moment of every day. There are paths to healing. Having faith in my Savior's constant love and faithfulness is my path, but even if you are not religious there are many agencies able to help. So go ahead and take that first step because it will lead to freedom from the chains of abuse.
Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
If we close our eyes and try to imagine beyond our nightmares, we’ll find
a loving God who promises HOPE and a new beginning! ~ by, Kathy Goodhew
I am a wounded healer and encourager. I know that my Savior loves me and you. He has given me hope and a purpose and I've been promised a new vision upon surrendering myself to Jesus. When I admitted to God that I could not handle doing things my way any longer, I found the courage to tell my story about spousal abuse in my book A Vision Beyond Abuse. I candidly shared about my broken past and my love for God with hope of bringing awareness about spousal abuse to a generation where the subject of abuse has gone unnoticed. My story focuses on one such path of healing. In the book, I vividly describe my personal struggle while trying not to lose hope for something better. Struck down, but not totally crushed, I worked at staying focused on my quest for the One who knows me better than I do. Lastly, I hope you will come along with me to find your own vision beyond abuse and never give up hope for a better future.
You can find my book on Amazon.com and at Tate Publishing's Bookstore: https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=978-1-61739-599-4
Kathy Goodhew's book is published through Tate Publishing, a mainline publishing house dedicated to working with aspiring authors and giving their book its best chance in the marketplace. http://www.tatepublishing.com
Blessings, Kathy Goodhew
I sense a need for something greater than self. So, I am led by Christ's love to be an encourager as I share about His faithfulness and grace.